Height
It’s closely associated with masculinity, power, and even wealth. Many men prefer to only date women shorter than them and assume that women prefer taller men. Even though the average height of men in the US is 5-foot-9, many men wish to be 6 feet or taller. This has led to “height-fishing,” where men inflate their height in their dating profiles to either receive more matches (because women can set height preferences) and/or to simply appear taller.
In reality, there’s much more to attraction and compatibility than just height. If a man simply prefers a shorter partner, that’s just preference, but if he feels insecure around taller women or refuses to date them, that’s a sign that height is a major source of insecurity. Shorter men should internalize that height is simply a superficial standard for men. Despite what you’re led to believe, potential partners tend to value personality traits more.
For men who want to bump up their height, here are a few tricks to appear taller. Wear shoes that have a higher sole or dress in fitted clothes and a monochromatic color palette, which visually elongates the silhouette. However, it helps much more to practice self-acceptance because, unlike the following insecurities, height is something that little can be done about.
Sex
Admit it or not, sex is a natural insecurity for everyone, especially when dating or seeing a new partner. It’s common for men to feel more pressure about their performance because of the correlation between sex and masculinity. Aside from the fact that men often feel they have to be more dominant in sex, they also may have insecurities about their penis size and overall performance or ability to please their partner.
This insecurity can be in men who deal with any sex-related issue like low libido or erectile dysfunction. These issues are common, and natural parts of the aging process but nonetheless still stigmatized. Even young men may experience erectile dysfunction. Luckily, there are treatments available. Doctors can diagnose the issue and may prescribe erectile dysfunction medications which are a common and discreet solution. Other lifestyle changes can be recommended and may be effective as well. Men that are insecure about their penis size should keep in mind that most women experience orgasms from the clitoris, where size is irrelevant.
Premature balding
It’s more common than not for men. The insecurity comes from the idea that hair loss makes a man appear older and perhaps less masculine. Unfortunately, premature balding is genetic and largely unavoidable. Confidence, however, is still a choice and can be cultivated. After a certain age, nearly all men will bald or start going grey, and it becomes more acceptable when it’s obvious that it’s a shared experience and a natural part of life.
If your hairline bothers you, consider hair loss medications, hats, and hairstyles that suit a balding head better—or even implants or a semi-permanent toupee.
Career or financial success
Many men feel insecure about their career and financial success with the assumption that women prefer more wealth and stability in a partner. Despite the old-fashioned “breadwinner” stereotype for men, financial success is still associated with masculinity.
What makes a person interesting and charismatic is when they are passionate about something, whether it is career related or not. If career or financial success is an insecurity for you or a man in your life, keep in mind that a job doesn’t define who you are or your worth as a person.
Fidelity
If a man has been cheated on in a relationship, it can feel humiliating because of the notion that men are supposed to be more dominant or have more authority in the relationship. The tradition of men proposing to women, rather than the other way around, enforces this idea. If infidelity happens to a man and the subsequent emotions aren’t adequately dealt with, he can develop long-lasting trust issues that can negatively affect his later relationships. Trust is at the foundation of a loving relationship, and without that, it can be devastating.
Reach out to peers or other resources for emotional support after dealing with infidelity so you can find healthy ways to cope with the feelings of betrayal and mistrust. Sometimes it may be best to talk to a mental health professional to help develop a healthy path forward, especially if the previous infidelity is affecting your current relationships.
In the end, everyone deals with insecurities, but there are some that are more gender-specific. Insecurities impede your ability to fully enjoy your life and relationships, so it’s best to practice developing confidence and finding healthy ways to make yourself feel better in your own skin.
Photo by Toa Heftiba
