An older guy who is definitely not stoned files this report.

By Mike Goodman

Sure, everyone knows that exercise can give you a “high” but it’s been a long, stressful day and I forgot to go to the gym today after work (that makes two years now), so is there an alternative?

“Yes!” say the makers of a new seltzer drink that contains 6 mg of Delta-9 THC and 3 mg of CBD per 12 oz. can with only 35 calories. Both forms of hemp-derived extracts are legal in Tennessee and most other states. The beverage known as Crescent 9 THC Seltzer contains a formula that is sure to be copied with the growing popularity of CBD for inducing sleep, curing joint pain and promoting relaxation.

When people think about the effects of cannabis (marijuana), they’re normally thinking about the effects of THC. The psychoactive and intoxicating properties of THC enhance sights, sounds, tastes, and more. THC stands for tetrahydrocannabinol, and it’s the most popular cannabinoid in cannabis. Depending on the type of cannabis, it exists in either abundant or trace amounts.

There are two types of cannabis plants: marijuana plants and hemp plants. The only difference between the two is that marijuana has over 0.3% Delta-9 THC by weight and hemp has less than 0.3% Delta-9 THC by weight. This distinction was made for legal reasons. Marijuana is legal only in states that have legalized it for medical or recreational purposes, whereas hemp is federally legal for adults.

I have enjoyed occasional use of CBD gummies (I could never, ever smoke anything) but had never tried THC before. It’s a combination that works! This beverage was refreshing and tasted like an energy drink with a hint of pineapple. Several friends tasted it and thought it was more like grapefruit with a slight sweetness. However, what do we know? The chief ingredient is mango puree with some other flavor enhancers. The drink is non-alcoholic and it hit the spot for me on a hot summer day.

My beer-drinking friends have their way of relaxing but it’s not for me. As Bob Marley once said, “Herb is the healing of a nation; alcohol is the destruction.” My drink of choice is iced tea. But now, I’m adding one more, Crescent 9.

About 30 minutes after drinking it, I felt abnormally and pleasantly calm while I suddenly grasped the “Vast Oneness of the Universe.” And I slept really well that night. I can definitely recommend Crescent 9 THC Seltzer for a “natural” high.

If you want to try Crescent 9, go to Yes, they ship anywhere in the US. Mike Goodman is an older guy who bikes 80 miles a week on Memphis’ bike trails.

“There’s a growing trend of older Americans using marijuana in retirement. That makes sense because old people always talk about their joints.”

—Jimmy Fallon